Mojo Movie Review of Ted

I had heard so many great things about “Ted”, I was excited to see it and convinced I’d love it. Bababooey from the Howard Stern show said it was one of the funniest movies he had ever seen. My buddy Coach said he couldn’t stop laughing. On and on it went, all my friends saw it and they all raved about how funny it was. I was pumped up and then I was let down.


Don’t get me wrong, Ted is not a horrible movie. It’s enjoyable and there are quite a few parts that made me laugh. The plot is too predictable though and the acting is not great. It is also very disctracting to have Seth MacFarlane (who wrote and directed the movie) voice Ted since all I kept thinking of was Peter Griffin. They even make light of that in one scene where Ted says he does not sound that much like Peter.


Ted is a coming of age story about an eight year old boy who is not popular and makes a wish that his teddy bear will be his best friend forever. Through some magic the teddy bear comes to life and is Ted. John and Ted are best friends for 27 years before the events of the film. The film handles the idea of a magically alive teddy bear pretty well, showing Ted on covers of many 80′s magazines and a hilarious appearance on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.


Grown up John is played by Mark Wahlberg who is one of my favorite actors. This is not his best role however. John’s girlfriend of four years, Lori, is played by Mila Kunis. They have a seemingly happy relationship living with Ted until Lori’s co-workers put doubts in her head. The happy household falls apart when John and Lori get home to find Ted partying with hookers, one of whom shit on the floor.


From here it is as predictable as can be. Happy couple loves each other, happy couple fights, guy does something stupid and happy couple breaks up. Ted’s side plot is even worse involving a very creepy father (Giovanni Ribisi) and son who want to buy Ted for their own and will stop at nothing to own Ted.


There are many funny moments in the film. And how can you not laugh at a pot smoking teddy bear who bangs hot chicks at the grocery store? But quite a few of the jokes are only funny because they are coming from a teddy bear. Ted became a crutch where the writers could give it bad jokes and still get a laugh. I loved all the pop culture and 80′s references that Seth MacFarlane is so good at. Also the nice retro touches like the Darth Vader carrying case that little John had for his Star Wars figures. Sam J. Jones, star of Buck Rogers, plays a coked out version of himself that I didn’t find funny but many other people loved.


Overall, I would give Ted a 6.5 out of 10. I had much higher hopes for it. MacFarlane can write better than this. The storyline was cheap and predictable. With huge stars like Wahlberg and Kunis and someone as funny as MacFarlane at the helm this movie should have been a solid 9. You will enjoy watching it but in a year or two if you see it on HBO you will keep flipping to the next channel.